Robert J Baron
"Another begger in from the cold...*sigh*, what could you possibly 'need' that requires you to interrupt the single richest man this side of the hemisphere?" Please note, the following is included within the press-release documents authorized by Robert J Baron, CEO and Owner of the Baron Conglomerate, LLC This document should only be accessed by those given permission from either Mr. Baron himself, or by his companies and their HR department, as they are the owners of this information. Appearance As anyone who reads this document can see (via the image provided so graciously to you by Baron Professional Photography and Imaging), Mr. Baron is single-handedly one of the best looking individuals to ever grace the Underground, nay, to grace the world. With his luscious, glorious, and especially beautiful blond hair, it is as if one is looking at a wig comprised of gold itself! (Disclaimer: Mr. Baron does not wear, or condone the use or purchase of wigs. Mr. Baron's intense levels of volume, color, and shine are all-natural, and he grew his hair himself. Anyone found insinuating otherwise will be subject to a lawsuit in a Royal Court of law, brought against them by the Robert Baron Conglomerate Company LLC.) That's just his hair, ladies and gentlemen! Don't even get us started on the rest of him! Oh wait a moment, this is a press release, I'm supposed to tell you anything and everything about our glorious CEO and employer...well I guess that means you just got me started about the rest of him. ''His teeth! Mr. Baron has some of the sharpest (and might I say brightest) teeth in the Underground, the result of his very own oral health routine. (Now purchasable under the name of Baron's Oral Health and Shine, now just 20 G at your local merchant and/or superstore!); Not only are his teeth bright and white, but take a look at his eyes! So dark, so piercing, it's almost as if he could fire me and destroy my entire livelihood at any moment in time! (Please do not fire me Mr. Baron, I have three children, please I need this job). We haven't even gotten to the man, the myth, no, the legend's most prominent feature however! His nose is prominent, and he is able to smell freshly made hamberders from as far as two miles away! (Yes, hamberders, it's not as if you would be rich enough to understand the delicacy of a well prepared hamberder). Overall, I restate that Mr. Robert J. Baron is the most attractive individual to walk the Earth, and you should feel quite honored to have even seen a photo of his greatness, as not many of your social rank are allowed to see even crudely done so-called '''drawings' ''or 'a''rt' of him. Personality Mr. Baron is often acknowledged by many to be one of, if not the most compassionate and caring individual that they have ever encountered in all of their days. Mr. Baron, while often quick to make assumptions and base his opinions on prejudice (as even the best of us are not immune to our own pre-conceived notions about certain types of individuals), often patronizes establishments of varying reputation and fame, as he believes that "Even the smallest and weakest of locations, people even, deserve a chance. If I am to not give them that chance, who will?". Outside of his usual happy-but-stern conditioning, Mr. Baron is a caring individual who is willing to help those in need, as he makes various donations to charity annually. Background Mr. Baron was born to a poor and poverty-riden family in Waterfall, I cannot stress to you exactly how ''poor his living conditions were when he was little, but you should definitely trust me that they were bad, ''Human types of bad. Orphaned and abandoned at the age of 5, Mr. Baron started a lemonade stand just outside of the Hotlands municipal area, and not too far from his home. Lemonade was priced at 7G a cup, and due to his hard business tactics and his good advertising, the business became a success by the time he was merely 7. Sadly, in a turn of pure tragedy and selfishness, Royal Guard members were sent to put an end to Mr. Baron's operations, as he was accused of having a "monopoly over the Hotland Lemonade business", even with such ludicrous and unsupported claims as this, the Royal Guard still forcibly took down the lemonade business, and escorted Robert back to his home. This was Mr. Baron's first taste of business, and his first experience of distaste with the Royal Family, but it would not be the last time he was harassed on slanderous claims of those who were jealous of his aptitude with business. At the age of 9, Mr. Baron decided he would try once again to better his living solution through the use of his charisma and selling ability. He went home to home in Snowdin, selling firewood...before he was once accused of having a 'monopoly' over the business. This time, he received a letter, now listed in his personal museum as the "Cease and Desist" letter, in which he was instructed to stop the operation of Robert Baron Wood Delivery, under the claims that he was holding a 'monopoly' over the Snowdin-based wood delivery business space. Mr. Baron continued to deliver his wood, and his property was eventually seized by the Royal Guard as punishment for his 'failure to cooperate in an arrest and/or citation'. His home and all other property seized, Mr. Baron once again rose to the challenge as he took on a low level job checking groceries at a then-prominent business near his former home. Mr. Baron would ascend the ranks and social ladder of the grocer business, before he ultimately sold it for nearly 1000G by the time he turned 20. For once, he had caught a break, and he was now thirsty for more experience in the wide-open business space provided by the land and wide customer base of the Underground. Mr Baron set up multiple companies, under different names, and operated them as they competed amongst themselves, before they were all shut down ''for the sole reason of 'being several competing business owned by the same founder and CEO, which constitutes a monopoly on their business spaces'. As the inevitable war between Humans and Monsters started to dawn on the conscience of many Underground citizens, Mr. Baron decided to enlist within the Royal Army of the Underground, even if it meant he would be fighting for the very Royal Family that had wronged him so many times before. Mr. Baron had enlisted to fight for his home, and to fight for the very honor of the Underground, in disagreement with many of his comrades, who had joined the fighting to ensure that the Royal Family would stay in power. Shortly before the first battle of the war broke out, Mr. Baron attended his annual physical to ensure that his health was still in check, where it was discovered by one of the worst, might I repeat, ONE OF THE WORST doctors in the Underground that he was not fit for service due to 'being overweight'. Mr. Baron refused to accept this, citing that the doctor was simply using this to defame him and ensure that he was not allowed to defend his homeland, and appealed the Royal Army to allow him to serve despite the horrid doctor's so called 'observations', but he was shortly thereafter forced out of his military rank, left behind to watch as many of his former comrades died for a cause that would inevitably be revealed to be worthless, as the Human Army sealed the survivors of the Monster race within the confines of the Underground. Shortly after the end of the war, and Mr. Baron's return to his passion for service, several businesses were left in his name from his former employer at the grocery store, and he assumed the business, renaming them after himself and operating them under the current Baron Conglomerate. It is with this seizure of operations that Mr. Baron's true entry to business has been recognized, as he has since opened various other operations, while avoiding the use of the made up charge of 'operating a monopoly over a business' through the use of his conglomerate (not to mention the use of some of the Underground's best lawyers, as well, ones that only he has the wealth and fame to gather and hire). As of recent, Mr. Baron has tried to shy away from public appearances to handle the management of his business in a more hands-on approach, although he is still known to frequent small drinking spots and taverns across the great Underground municipal area. Affiliations Family *Mr. Baron has a son he aptly named Rob Jr, who he loves very dearly. Rob Jr. has recently shown disinterest in the running of the family business, and instead wishes to become a ballet dancer, angering his father and ultimately leading to Rob Jr. being disowned. We are not at liberty to discuss any of Robert's information other than the fact that he is the son of Mr. Baron. Friends *Mr. Baron has a long list of personal friends, but he has chosen not to list them here, as who they are is none of your business. Acquaintances *Mr. Baron has had numerous dealings with Duke Peasworth E. Go of New Home, as he is one of the Baron Conglomerate's best customers. Although their relationship is based mutually and solely on the business at hand, Mr. Baron still shows great respect for Duke Peasworth, and has cited him as being: "...of a certain type of breed, one that the Underground seems to be running low on as of late. He is one of the greatest men I have yet to have the honor of meeting in my lifetime." Enemies *You know who you are -Signed, the desk of Robert J Baron Statistics Please note that engaging Mr. Baron in combat, or challenging him to similar forms of violence (dueling, boxing, wrestling) is not suggested, or acceptable. Anyone seen threatening or challenging Mr. Baron to the above situations will be escorted off of company property. *Mr. Baron's HP has been assessed to be near 3000, as stated by previously released health documents. *With his large stature and sinewy, muscled arms, Mr. Baron has an AT of 27. *Mr. Baron possesses a DF level assessed to be 14 by various physicians. Quotes "There comes a certain point in Monster history, where we must all learn to pick ourselves up, and look to the leaders of the next generation." "Children are the Underground's greatest asset, as our future relies solely on them and their future accomplishments. If I am not to set a good example for them, then the Underground's children will be lead to, and subsequently lead the rest of us, into darkness." "The 'word' 'monopoly' is a made up word found nowhere in the English language, invented by my enemies to discount the fruits of my labors." "Taxation is but the easy way of saying theft, with too many steps in between." "Workers Unions charge membership dues and fees, force those members to attend boring meetings, and organize strikes against the worker's very employer. If that is not the true evil of modern business, I do not know what is." "Life is just a product, and twenty years is the free trial. I wasn't happy with what I had saw, but they already charged my card." "My only regret is that despite all of this, this money, this property, I can never buy back the lives my comrades lost while fighting for a meaningless cause." "As much as I've always always loved snow globes, I never would have thought that I'd be living in one. Funny, how small the Underground is. Sad however, that the Monster race will never reach its full potential will imprisoned within the confines of its walls." "From a young age, I came to understand that the world is harsh and rough all over. The morning dew perspiring on my face was my alarm clock. The rains of Waterfall became my lullaby for a time. But my dreams never changed, I did not let my situation control my aspirations, and here I stand before you today: a man who reshaped his situation, instead of letting ''it shape me." "All that glitters isn't golden, you'd be bold to assume that, but it is a dangerous philosophy." "I always preferred the confines of a library much more to a tavern or an extravagant ball. At least in the library, there's only dust to judge your sins." "I can assure you that if I could give away this wealth, I would in an instant. No man should be allowed to have this amount of wealth, nor be this close to power." "The war changed the SOULs of hundreds, extinguished those of thousands. Yet I find myself still thinking 'you should have died back there, not them', whenever I imagine my fallen comrades." "No matter the acquisition I complete, the deal I pull through, or the wealth and power I accumulate, I will always be empty inside." "I've always had a fixation on the idea of gambling. Fortunes can be lost in mere moments, or gained in seconds. It's just so intriguing to me somehow, what may be a reversal of fortune for one could be the end of life itself for another. It's as if business itself were compressed into a single medium, with all the heartlessness of war." "Business is the way to sway the bloody hand of tyrants." Trivia *Mr. Baron's favorite food is hamberders, a dish exclusive to the upper class of the Underground. **In his own words, "There is nothing better after a long day, than a freshly cooked hamberder. Many may think that I am referring to the more common hamburger, but I assure you, once you have tasted a hamberder, you never go back!". *Mr. Baron was given his first name by his employer at Mr. Marty's Grocery Store from a young age, as up to this point Mr. Baron was simply referred to as "B" by his fellow employees. *Mr. Baron's net worth is estimated to be nearly 7.4 billion G in total, not including his various stock assets in multiple companies. *Mr. Baron is an avid collector of snowglobes, and owns some of the most rare models within the Underground. **Mr. Baron's favorite snowglobe depicts a sign welcoming one to the seemingly fictional city of Las Vegas. Gallery Portaits and photographs of Mr. Baron will be posted here at a potential future time, thank you for your understanding and cooperation. Category:User;Slade The Demon Category:OC